A new priest at his very first Mass

😂 The Hilarious Tale of a Nervous Priest and His “Vodka Sermon”

A new priest was so nervous at his very first Mass that he could barely speak and gave an awful sermon. 😰

Afterward, he asked the monsignor how to “relax” on the pulpit. The monsignor jokingly said:
“When I’m nervous, I put a glass of vodka in front of me. If I start to shake or stammer, I take a sip.” 🥃

The next Sunday, the young priest tried it. One sip… then another… and another! By the end, he was preaching with energy, theatrics, and confidence.

After Mass, he found a note from the monsignor with some important advice:

• Sip, don’t gulp.

• There are 10 Commandments, not 12.

• Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

• David slew Goliath, not “kicked the holy crap” out of him.

• The Virgin Mary is not “Mary with the Cherry.”

• And grace before meals isn’t: “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.”

Sometimes, a little less of the “Holy Spirit” makes for a better sermon. 😂