😂 The Hilarious Tale of a Nervous Priest and His “Vodka Sermon”
A new priest was so nervous at his very first Mass that he could barely speak and gave an awful sermon. 😰
Afterward, he asked the monsignor how to “relax” on the pulpit. The monsignor jokingly said:
“When I’m nervous, I put a glass of vodka in front of me. If I start to shake or stammer, I take a sip.” 🥃
The next Sunday, the young priest tried it. One sip… then another… and another! By the end, he was preaching with energy, theatrics, and confidence.
After Mass, he found a note from the monsignor with some important advice:
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Sip, don’t gulp.
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There are 10 Commandments, not 12.
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Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
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David slew Goliath, not “kicked the holy crap” out of him.
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The Virgin Mary is not “Mary with the Cherry.”
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And grace before meals isn’t: “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.”
Sometimes, a little less of the “Holy Spirit” makes for a better sermon. 😂
