After three years without a real vacation, I requested time off to spend Christmas with my family for the first time in nearly a decade. I avoided Christmas Day, submitted the request months ahead, and tried to be reasonable.
My manager denied it immediately.
His explanation? “Committed people stay during crunch time.”
I escalated the decision to HR with documentation. What they found shocked everyone: while my request was denied, multiple PTO requests for the same dates—submitted after mine—were approved. The difference? Those employees had kids. I didn’t.
During the HR meeting, my manager openly admitted he prioritized parents, claiming I was “more flexible” because I didn’t have children. HR shut that down fast.
The result:
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My holiday PTO was approved
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My manager was removed from overseeing me
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PTO policies were rewritten for transparency
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I was later promoted with a raise
The biggest lesson? The guilt was never about business—it was about control. The team survived just fine without me.
If you’ve ever been made to feel like your time matters less because you’re single or child-free, this is your reminder: your life is not less valuable, and you’re allowed to protect it.
