My brother Mateo has kids with three different women and constantly borrows money. When he hinted another baby might be on the way, I snapped: “Get a vasectomy. Stop having kids you can’t support.”
That’s when he admitted, “I think I’m addicted to being needed. I don’t know how to say no.” Suddenly, I saw past his charm—to the scared, broken kid we both were when Dad left.
He’s always tried to “rescue” struggling women, only to get stuck in a cycle of guilt and chaos. This time, he asked for money to help a woman named Kelly—said she was pregnant and struggling. I gave him $200, even though it hurt me financially.
But something felt off. I looked her up—no pregnancy, no baby, just a boyfriend. When I confronted him, he confessed: he lied. He’s behind on child support and was too ashamed to tell me.
I told him, “You can’t lie your way into being a better man.” That hit him. Since then, he’s joined a support group for dads, booked a vasectomy consult, and even arranged for his kids to meet. He’s working now and finally made a real child support payment.
He’s still far from perfect—but he’s trying. And sometimes, that’s the start of real change.
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