<\/p>\n
When my husband Keith smugly announced he was going on a resort vacation without me because I \u201cdon\u2019t work,\u201d I smiled sweetly and let him go.<\/p>\n
He strutted in like he\u2019d won the lottery. \u201cMom and Dad invited me next week. I need a break,\u201d he said, as I bounced our screaming 12-week-old. When I asked about me, he smirked, \u201cYou\u2019re on maternity leave. You nap when the baby naps, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed\u2014sweetly, dangerously. \u201cOf course, dear. Go have fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
The moment his car disappeared, I sprang into action. I dropped Lily at my mom\u2019s for three nights, showered, shaved, and poured a glass of wine. Then I made a list of everything Keith thought I didn\u2019t do: laundry, groceries, bills, appointments, mental load\u2014the endless invisible work of running a household.<\/p>\n
I posted a triumphant Instagram: \u201cDay 1 of my own vacation. No screaming. No mansplaining. Just peace and pasta. #StayAtHomeQueen\u201d<\/p>\n
By Day 3, Keith called, confused. I told him, \u201cYou went on a vacation because raising a human isn\u2019t real work. I took one too. I earned mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
When he returned, the house was spotless, dinner ready, and a note on the fridge read:<\/p>\n
\u201cWelcome home! Laundry\u2019s on the couch. Baby\u2019s at Nana\u2019s. P.S. I\u2019m not the maid. I\u2019m your partner.\u201d<\/p>\n
He never called my work \u201cnothing\u201d again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When my husband Keith smugly announced he was going on a resort vacation without me because I \u201cdon\u2019t work,\u201d I smiled sweetly and let him go. He strutted in like he\u2019d won the lottery. \u201cMom and Dad invited me next week. I need a break,\u201d he said, as I bounced our screaming 12-week-old. When …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7910,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7909"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7911,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7909\/revisions\/7911"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}