{"id":4648,"date":"2025-06-15T13:08:18","date_gmt":"2025-06-15T13:08:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/?p=4648"},"modified":"2025-06-15T13:08:18","modified_gmt":"2025-06-15T13:08:18","slug":"an-elderly-couple-bert-and-edna-are-sitting-on-the-porch-swing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/?p=4648","title":{"rendered":"An elderly couple, Bert and Edna, are sitting on the porch swing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"88\" data-end=\"382\">On a peaceful Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, married for a whopping 55 years, are rocking on their porch swing, sipping tea like retired royalty. Edna suddenly says, \u201cLet\u2019s talk bucket lists.\u201d Bert, 87 and rocking socks with sandals, chuckles and goes, \u201cMine\u2019s easy: wake up and find my pants.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"384\" data-end=\"551\">But then he drops a bombshell: he\u2019s always wanted to go skydiving. Edna nearly spits out her tea. \u201cBert, your bones creak just getting off the toilet!\u201d But she\u2019s game.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"553\" data-end=\"787\">Feeling bold, Edna confesses she\u2019s been low-key plotting revenge for years\u2014sabotaging his recliner and reprogramming the remote to only play Hallmark movies. \u201cThat\u2019s what you get for buying me a vacuum on our anniversary,\u201d she smirks.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"789\" data-end=\"1042\">Bert, not to be outdone, admits he hasn\u2019t been \u201cfishing\u201d all these years\u2014he\u2019s been dominating the bowling alley and hiding trophies in the basement like a secret sports goblin. Edna gasps. \u201cSo <em data-start=\"982\" data-end=\"990\">that\u2019s<\/em> the thing I threw out that said \u2018Kingpin\u2019&#8230; oops.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1044\" data-end=\"1280\">They burst into laughter. Now, Bert skydives (once, with a helmet the size of a watermelon), Edna gets a plush, sabotage-free recliner, and every Saturday they hit the bowling alley\u2014keeping score, and an eye on each other, just in case.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; On a peaceful Sunday evening, Bert and Edna, married for a whopping 55 years, are rocking on their porch swing, sipping tea like retired royalty. Edna suddenly says, \u201cLet\u2019s talk bucket lists.\u201d Bert, 87 and rocking socks with sandals, chuckles and goes, \u201cMine\u2019s easy: wake up and find my pants.\u201d But then he &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4648"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4650,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4648\/revisions\/4650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}