<\/p>\n
A woman, fed up with her husband\u2019s chronic lateness, decided to deliver some drama. She scrawled a breakup note like a soap opera star: A little while later, hubby strolls in, humming like he just won the lottery. He spots the note, reads it, and without missing a beat, scribbles something on it. Then he makes a phone call.<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s finally gone! Yep, took her long enough. I\u2019m on my way, baby. Slip into that hot little number, yeah? We\u2019re gonna get real<\/em> creative tonight. Love ya!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n He hangs up, grabs his keys, and zooms out of the driveway like Fast & Furious: Homewrecker Edition.<\/p>\n Furious and sobbing, the wife wiggles out from under the bed like an angry dust bunny. She grabs the note to see what he dared to write.<\/p>\n It read:<\/p>\n \u201cI can see your feet. Also, we\u2019re out of bread. Back in 5.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A woman, fed up with her husband\u2019s chronic lateness, decided to deliver some drama. She scrawled a breakup note like a soap opera star:\u201cI\u2019ve had enough! I\u2019m leaving you! Don\u2019t you dare follow me!\u201dThen, like a budget spy, she slid under the bed to watch the chaos unfold. A little while later, hubby strolls …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4082,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4080\/revisions\/4082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\u201cI\u2019ve had enough! I\u2019m leaving you! Don\u2019t you dare follow me!\u201d<\/strong>
Then, like a budget spy, she slid under the bed to watch the chaos unfold.<\/p>\n