By<\/p>\n
My pruning shears rested next to Edward's headstone, but the sunflower I had left there for his birthday was now in the hands of an unfamiliar woman. Her bag was filled with fresh flowers from various graves. When I insisted she return them, she gestured across the street and revealed a locked back room that bore my late son\u2019s name.<\/p>\n
Yesterday would have marked my son's thirty-fifth birthday.<\/p>\n
Instead of a cake, I chose to buy sunflowers.<\/p>\n
Edward always brought me sunflowers during his visits.<\/p>\n
Never in a vase, never neatly arranged. Just a bunch wrapped in grocery-store plastic, held under one arm alongside his toolbox.<\/p>\n
"For the prettiest girl on the block," he would say.<\/p>\n
"You're only saying that because you want lunch."<\/p>\n
"Can both things be true?"<\/p>\n
Typically, I would prepare him a sandwich.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Seven months ago, Edward lost his life in a car accident while returning home from work.<\/p>\n
I still occasionally reach for my phone when something goes wrong.<\/p>\n
Yesterday, I stood by his headstone, arranging sunflowers in the small vase I had brought along.<\/p>\n
"The kitchen faucet is leaking again, Eddie," I told him.<\/p>\n
I could almost hear his response.<\/p>\n
"Mom, why didn\u2019t you just call me?"<\/p>\n
I lingered until the wind turned chilly.<\/p>\n
Then I returned home.<\/p>\n
It wasn't until the evening that I realized I had left my pruning shears by the grave.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
I went back the following morning.<\/p>\n
As I walked down the gravel path, I spotted a woman in a worn gray coat.<\/p>\n
She carried a large shopping bag.<\/p>\n
Flowers overflowed from the top.<\/p>\n
Roses. Carnations. Closed-bud lilies.<\/p>\n
Then I observed her lean over a grave and take a pink carnation from a fresh bouquet.<\/p>\n
She slipped it into her bag.<\/p>\n
Then she moved to another grave.<\/p>\n
She wasn\u2019t picking up discarded flowers.<\/p>\n
She was selecting the freshest ones.<\/p>\n
I watched as she took a white rose from one arrangement and a sprig of greenery from another.<\/p>\n
Water dripped from the bottom of her bag onto her shoes.<\/p>\n
I halted in the middle of the path.<\/p>\n
She must be gathering them to sell.<\/p>\n
Then she turned toward Edward's grave.<\/p>\n
She paused in front of his headstone.<\/p>\n
Then she bent down and pulled a sunflower from the bouquet I had arranged the day before.<\/p>\n
"Don\u2019t touch that."<\/p>\n
The woman flinched.<\/p>\n
She turned, still clutching the sunflower.<\/p>\n
I walked directly toward her.<\/p>\n
"Return it."<\/p>\n
She handed it over without hesitation.<\/p>\n
Up close, she appeared to be around my age, maybe slightly younger.<\/p>\n
Her coat was frayed at the cuffs, and her fingers were damp.<\/p>\n
"How many graves have you taken flowers from?"<\/p>\n
She lowered her gaze.<\/p>\n
"I\u2019m sorry."<\/p>\n
"I brought these for my son yesterday."<\/p>\n
I took another step closer to her.<\/p>\n
"It was his birthday."<\/p>\n
The woman looked at the headstone.<\/p>\n
"I\u2019m very sorry."<\/p>\n
"Are you?"<\/p>\n
She remained silent.<\/p>\n
"This is all I can do for him now." My fingers tightened around the sunflower stem. "And you\u2019re taking them to sell?"<\/p>\n
Her head jerked up.<\/p>\n
"I\u2019m not selling them."<\/p>\n
"Then what are you doing?"<\/p>\n
She gazed at the sunflower in my hand.<\/p>\n
"Please follow me. You need to see something."<\/p>\n
I almost laughed.<\/p>\n
"You think I\u2019ll go somewhere with you?"<\/p>\n
"I live across the street."<\/p>\n
"That doesn\u2019t justify why you\u2019re stealing flowers."<\/p>\n
"I know." She tightened her hold on the bag. "I can explain."<\/p>\n
I looked at the stems pressed against each other.<\/p>\n
"You\u2019re putting every one of those back."<\/p>\n
"I will."<\/p>\n
"Now."<\/p>\n
She hesitated.<\/p>\n
"Please. Ten minutes. Then I\u2019ll return them, and you can accompany me."<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t like the proposal.<\/p>\n
I disliked even more the thought of leaving without understanding what she was doing.<\/p>\n
I glanced toward the cemetery entrance.<\/p>\n
There were houses across the street.<\/p>\n
A few cars drove by.<\/p>\n
"What\u2019s your name?" I inquired.<\/p>\n
"Monica."<\/p>\n
"I\u2019m Sansa."<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
I held the sunflower against my coat.<\/p>\n
"All right, Monica. Show me."<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Her house was small, with faded blue shutters and a narrow front porch.<\/p>\n
She guided me through a neat living room.<\/p>\n
Monica halted in front of a locked room at the end of the hallway.<\/p>\n
She retrieved a key from her pocket.<\/p>\n
"What\u2019s inside?" I asked.<\/p>\n
She looked at me.<\/p>\n
"The reason I took the flowers."<\/p>\n
She unlocked the door.<\/p>\n
Then she flicked on the light.<\/p>\n
I paused at the threshold.<\/p>\n
Shelves lined one wall.<\/p>\n
On them sat small objects in wooden boxes, each covered with a soft white cloth.<\/p>\n
Handwritten labels were affixed beneath the boxes.<\/p>\n
Some displayed dates.<\/p>\n
Others had names.<\/p>\n
A worktable was situated beneath the window.<\/p>\n
On it were trays of dried petals, small molds, gloves, and containers of clear casting resin.<\/p>\n
I glanced from the table to the shelves.<\/p>\n
"What is all this?"<\/p>\n
Monica didn\u2019t respond right away.<\/p>\n
Then I spotted a label on the second shelf.<\/p>\n
Edward.<\/p>\n
I stepped closer.<\/p>\n
There was his full name, carefully written on a small card.<\/p>\n
I turned to Monica.<\/p>\n
"This isn\u2019t the first time you\u2019ve taken his flowers."<\/p>\n
She shook her head.<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
I pressed my hands against my coat.<\/p>\n
"How long have you been doing this?"<\/p>\n
"Since a few weeks after his funeral."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
She reached toward the white cloth.<\/p>\n
"May I show you?"<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
Monica lifted the cloth.<\/p>\n
Beneath it laid a small rectangular piece of clear resin.<\/p>\n
Inside were dried petals, arranged in soft layers.<\/p>\n
Yellow.<\/p>\n
White.<\/p>\n
Pale blue.<\/p>\n
And woven throughout was a narrow blue ribbon.<\/p>\n
I recognized that ribbon.<\/p>\n
I had tied it around the first bouquet I brought to Edward's grave after his funeral.<\/p>\n
It had been cut from an old spool in my sewing drawer.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d knotted it twice as my hands shook.<\/p>\n
A week later, the ribbon was gone.<\/p>\n
I had searched around the grave.<\/p>\n
I assumed the wind had carried it away.<\/p>\n
Now it was encased inside a clear block, its edges slightly faded.<\/p>\n
I reached toward it, then paused.<\/p>\n
Tears blurred the ribbon as I leaned in closer.<\/p>\n
"Where did you find that?" I whispered.<\/p>\n
Monica ran her thumb along the edge of the worktable.<\/p>\n
"From his grave."<\/p>\n
I stared at the ribbon.<\/p>\n
For months, I had envisioned it tangled in weeds somewhere beyond the cemetery fence.<\/p>\n
Instead, it had been resting in this woman's home.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
"Why would you take that?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"I wanted to preserve it."<\/p>\n
"For whom?"<\/p>\n
Monica looked down.<\/p>\n
"For you, eventually."<\/p>\n
I turned to her.<\/p>\n
"You don\u2019t know me."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"You didn\u2019t know Edward."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Then why would you assume you had the right?"<\/p>\n
She remained silent.<\/p>\n
I gazed back at the resin.<\/p>\n
The ribbon had a tiny dark spot near one end.<\/p>\n
I had made that mark accidentally with a pen while writing a grocery list.<\/p>\n
There was no mistaking it.<\/p>\n
I pressed my fingertips against the wooden box.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed a folded piece of paper tucked beneath the resin.<\/p>\n
It was slightly yellowed at the edges.<\/p>\n
The handwriting on the outside was mine.<\/p>\n
I picked it up.<\/p>\n
I knew what it was before opening it.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
On my second visit after Edward's funeral, I had tucked a note into the stems of a bouquet.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t wanted to speak the words aloud.<\/p>\n
I had written them on a scrap of paper at my kitchen table.<\/p>\n
I unfolded it now.<\/p>\n
The kitchen is too quiet without your radio on, Eddie.<\/p>\n
That was all.<\/p>\n
Edward used to turn on a little portable radio whenever he fixed something at my house.<\/p>\n
He enjoyed old rock songs.<\/p>\n
He sang poorly.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I complained about the noise.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d give anything to hear it again.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
I pressed the note against my coat and cried. Monica stood beside the worktable in silence.<\/p>\n
When I could gather myself, I folded the note carefully.<\/p>\n
Then I looked at her.<\/p>\n
"Did you read this?"<\/p>\n
She hesitated.<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"You shouldn\u2019t have."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"Those words weren\u2019t meant for you."<\/p>\n
"I\u2019m sorry, Sansa."<\/p>\n
I placed the note in my coat pocket.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t bear to leave it there another moment.<\/p>\n
Monica pulled out a chair.<\/p>\n
"Would you like to sit?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
I surveyed the room again.<\/p>\n
"How many families have you done this to?"<\/p>\n
She flinched at the inquiry.<\/p>\n
"I don\u2019t know the exact number."<\/p>\n
"You\u2019ve been taking flowers from strangers\u2019 graves without permission?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
Monica walked to the far end of the worktable.<\/p>\n
She opened a small drawer and retrieved a crooked piece of resin.<\/p>\n
It was no larger than a matchbox.<\/p>\n
A single pink petal floated inside.<\/p>\n
"This was the first one I made," she said. "It was from flowers left for my daughter."<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
"Your daughter?"<\/p>\n
"She passed away nine years ago."<\/p>\n
Monica turned the small block in her fingers.<\/p>\n
"After the funeral, I kept returning to her grave. I\u2019d bring flowers, and a week later they\u2019d be gone. The cemetery had to clear them away. I understood that. But I hated it."<\/p>\n
She placed the little block down.<\/p>\n
"I began drying petals from the flowers I brought her. I watched videos, purchased supplies, ruined more pieces than I completed."<\/p>\n
She turned the uneven little block between her fingers.<\/p>\n
"That one took me three tries."<\/p>\n
"And then?"<\/p>\n
"Then I began noticing other graves. Fresh bouquets left in the rain. Cards tucked among the stems. I kept thinking someone would want to save a little of them."<\/p>\n
"So you took them."<\/p>\n
"Just a few stems from each."<\/p>\n
"Without permission."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
I glanced at Edward's name.<\/p>\n
"What were you planning to do with these?"<\/p>\n
"Return them."<\/p>\n
"How?"<\/p>\n
"In small wooden boxes. I wrote down the names and dates from the headstones so I could keep each person's flowers separate. I thought I\u2019d leave the boxes near their graves before the death anniversaries."<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
"You thought families would know who left them?"<\/p>\n
"I planned to include a note."<\/p>\n
"And if the cemetery staff removed the boxes?"<\/p>\n
She fell silent.<\/p>\n
"Have you already left any?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"A few."<\/p>\n
"Did anyone receive them?"<\/p>\n
Monica looked toward the window.<\/p>\n
"I don\u2019t know."<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
I glanced at the bag she had brought inside.<\/p>\n
Fresh stems were still pressed against its sides.<\/p>\n
"You need to stop. Not just taking flowers from Edward. From everyone."<\/p>\n
Monica nodded.<\/p>\n
"And those flowers in your bag need to go back today."<\/p>\n
"Of course."<\/p>\n
I looked at the resin piece again.<\/p>\n
Part of me wanted to take it home right away.<\/p>\n
Another part was furious that she had created it at all.<\/p>\n
"May I keep my note?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"It\u2019s yours."<\/p>\n
I slipped it deeper into my pocket.<\/p>\n
Then I looked at the blue ribbon.<\/p>\n
"I need time to think about that."<\/p>\n
Monica nodded.<\/p>\n
"Take as long as you need."<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
We carried the shopping bag back across the street.<\/p>\n
I showed Monica the graves where I had seen her remove flowers.<\/p>\n
She returned the stems she could identify.<\/p>\n
A few had become mixed together.<\/p>\n
We took those to the cemetery office.<\/p>\n
Monica explained her actions.<\/p>\n
The staff member listened with a weary expression and told her plainly that she couldn\u2019t remove flowers from graves without permission.<\/p>\n
She also clarified that unapproved boxes left at headstones might be cleared away.<\/p>\n
Outside, I paused beside Edward's grave.<\/p>\n
His birthday sunflowers were still present.<\/p>\n
I returned the one I had been holding.<\/p>\n
Then I located my pruning shears where I had left them, half-hidden beside the vase.<\/p>\n
I picked them up.<\/p>\n
Monica waited a few steps away.<\/p>\n
"May I finish the presentation box for Edward's flowers?" she asked.<\/p>\n
I glanced at the sunflowers.<\/p>\n
"Not yet."<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
"All right."<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
At home, I placed the folded note on my kitchen counter.<\/p>\n
The faucet dripped.<\/p>\n
I opened the cupboard beneath the sink.<\/p>\n
Edward's toolbox remained there.<\/p>\n
Inside were spare washers, a wrench, and a screwdriver with a worn yellow handle.<\/p>\n
I took out the wrench.<\/p>\n
Then I replaced it.<\/p>\n
Edward had always made fixing things seem easier than it was.<\/p>\n
I found a plumber's number on my phone and scheduled an appointment.<\/p>\n
Afterward, I stood in the kitchen for a long time.<\/p>\n
The note lay beside the sink.<\/p>\n
I picked it up and read it once more.<\/p>\n
Then I opened my sewing drawer.<\/p>\n
The old spool of blue ribbon was still inside.<\/p>\n
I held it in one hand, contemplating the piece in Monica's locked room.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t decided whether I wanted it.<\/p>\n
But I knew I couldn\u2019t forget it.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
By midafternoon, I called Monica.<\/p>\n
"I\u2019ve been considering Edward\u2019s flowers."<\/p>\n
She was quiet.<\/p>\n
"Would you like the piece?"<\/p>\n
"Yes. But don\u2019t add anything else to it."<\/p>\n
"Of course."<\/p>\n
"And Monica?"<\/p>\n
"Yes?"<\/p>\n
"Please ask people before touching their flowers again."<\/p>\n
"I will, Sansa."<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
I drove back before evening. Monica had placed the completed resin piece inside a small wooden presentation box.<\/p>\n
The blue ribbon lay among the preserved petals.<\/p>\n
She hadn\u2019t added anything.<\/p>\n
"Thank you," I said.<\/p>\n
Monica clasped her hands.<\/p>\n
"I inquired at the cemetery office whether I could offer preservation privately, if families contact me themselves. I won\u2019t touch another flower unless someone asks me to."<\/p>\n
"That sounds better."<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
"I should\u2019ve done that from the start."<\/p>\n
I picked up the box.<\/p>\n
"I think Edward would\u2019ve appreciated the ribbon."<\/p>\n
Monica smiled faintly.<\/p>\n
"Tell me about him sometime?"<\/p>\n
I considered that.<\/p>\n
"Maybe."<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The sun was setting when I returned home. I placed Edward's memorial on the kitchen windowsill.<\/p>\n
Beside it, I set a small jar with one fresh sunflower I had purchased on the way home.<\/p>\n
The ribbon caught the diminishing light.<\/p>\n
The faucet dripped behind me as I took out my phone.<\/p>\n
My thumb hovered over Edward's name.<\/p>\n
For a moment, I wanted to call him about the faucet.<\/p>\n
Instead, I opened my photographs.<\/p>\n
There he was, standing in my kitchen with his toolbox under one arm and sunflowers under the other.<\/p>\n
His shirt was stained.<\/p>\n
He was grinning.<\/p>\n
I enlarged the picture.<\/p>\n
"You would\u2019ve fixed it before I finished complaining, Eddie."<\/p>\n
Then I set the phone beside the flowers and put the kettle on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By My pruning shears rested next to Edward's headstone, but the sunflower I had left there for his birthday was now in the hands of an unfamiliar woman. Her bag was filled with fresh flowers from various graves. When I insisted she return them, she gestured across the street and revealed a locked back room …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25334,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25333"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25335,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25333\/revisions\/25335"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/25334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifevibesever.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}